Samoth's Deities

In certains universes, gods are omniscient, omnipotent, benign, patient or else really evil. On Samoth, they are on the whole rather stupid.

To this day, 27985 main deities* (and at least thrice as much petty gods) ave been accounted for ; most are harshly competed with each other over gaining the greatest number of followers. Indeed, the gods on Samoth draw their powers directly from their believers' faith : it's undoubtedly one of the only world where a pebble can pretend to the status of divinity - and then lost it, for lack of believers.

It may be because of the precariousness of the employment that the gads are what they are - quick to anger, impetuous, arrogant, and generally unable to read a sign without moving their lips. The greatest part of the almighties are lowbrow, shallow, and completely lacking taste.

Some myths tell that the gods play chess to decide the fate of men - it isn't obviously not the case on Samoth, they wouldn't understand the rules. Some gods (and some goddesses) steer clear of the overall stupidity, and demonstrate a subtle and penetrating mind : this includes Fate, Death, the Goddess of Chance and the God of Crusted Pie. Well, it seems everything is possible.

No doubt because they threaten their very existence (see above), or maybe because they tend to be smarter than them, agnostics aren't popular amongst the gods, who wholeheartedly hate them. In the perpective of a long, fulfilling life, it isn't a good idea to be an atheist on Samoth.

As will claim any good theological book, the gods are immortal (as long as they have enough followers). Advanced thaumaturgic studies have nonetheless shown that they can die, under certain circonstances. demonstrate tant qu'ils disposent d'une réserve de fidèles suffisante). When that happens, they spend some centuries in limbo, rejuvenating their corporeal form, getting back their powers, and eating pizzas. Among other advantages, the Gods choose their name, and can change their apparence at will. Only two aspects of them will always betray them : their eyes, and the nail on their right big toe (can you figure this ?)

• according to themselves.

A non-exhaustive list of Samoth's main Gods :

+ Hyv'eunh
Main god of Good ©. Strangely enough, has a tendency to act shrewdly, or even downright underhandedly. Suffers from a severe lack of imagination, as well as severe spelling disorders, as his name demonstrates. Probably one of the most powerful Gods in the multiverse. In a feud to the death with the God of Ice, no one knows why.

+ Fate
Supposedly the most ancient God. An aura of mystery surround him, and his lifeless gaze isn't particularly inviting. Most of his followers are dangerous zealous charming persons. Offending that God is an elegant way to order a coffin.

+ Death
Also called "the Grim Reaper". Usually wears a cloak as dark as a hopeless night, and a mortally sharp scythe. In the back of his orbits shines a icy-cold spark. Has seemingly a very bad sense of humor.

Death keeps to himself, away from the other Gods ; some say he isn't a deity per se, but an entirely different, more ancient entity. However, «some» is often wrong.

+ The God of Ice
Too stupid to find a real name. It's the epitome of brute force, and blind and merciless cruelty. His relations with Hyv'eunh, the God of Good © are pretty cold (!).

+ The Lady
The Goddesss of Chance. May be tall, sometimes a dark-head, always beautiful. No one knows anything more about her, except that all of her appearance are made to the sound of dice rolling.

+ Loki
A sharp, evil, and brilliant mind, master in deceits, curses, and lies. Hated, dreaded, abhorred, but always feared. On a side note, God of Fire.

+ Dana
Goddess of Nature and Fertility, protector of animals and trees. She is merciless towards ennemies of the Earth.

+ T'anhis
Most famous God of Thunder (there are at least 8671 of them). Do not insult him during a storm.

+ Lada
Goddess of Love and Pleasure. She sometimes go and have fun with mortals.

+ Kahzaâd
God of Forges, Handwork and Metal. Loves stale jokes.

+ Marishiten
God of War and Blood. A bit of a warmonger : not the ideal guest to the Countess's Annual Ball.

+ Varûnaa
Gods of Waters. Arch enemy of Loki (which he constantly insults, except in his presence).

+ Gloop
Gods of Turtles. Looks f***ingly powerful, but never seems to do anything but chew salad.

+ Isham'iryth
God of Magic. Theorically, gives powers to mortals. Practically, often settles for constating them.

+ Akier
God of Stupidity. Bears on the back of his bald head this tattoo "Insert brain here". Never talks (by the time he has formed a sentence in his head and starts saying it, everybody is already gone).